Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
