I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize