I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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