quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
