How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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