so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
