all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
