Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
