Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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