I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
