I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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