I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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