GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
