dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did you pee in the oven last night??
how does that bad decision feel?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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