The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
