The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
