it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
