she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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