Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize