She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
