please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
