all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
