I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
