Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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