home. puking in laundry basket.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
