he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize