Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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