pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
