Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
