its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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