well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
