Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
