watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
