I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I cockslap morals
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
