dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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