who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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