make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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