The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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