just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you inspire me to be a worse person
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
