did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
