did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
