He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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