Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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