Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you win again, gameday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
