I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
