ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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