Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
