i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
