It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize