girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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