The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
