Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
