He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
