I accidentally had phone sex last night
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
