Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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