what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
