anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
