oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
