There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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