just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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