omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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