I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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