You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
