so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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