kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
