First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
